This Body Can – Stephanie

This Body Can  is a new series I am doing on my blog. This series is meant as a fuck you to the fitness industry complex, social media, etc. that make us feel like we aren’t good enough. This series is me, and you, building a community of support. We are all good enough and we all matter. So be strong, be useful and enjoy the first guest post on my blog from my friend Stephanie:

I’m in my 30s and I still don’t love my body.

I know I’m supposed to, I know that wholeheartedly. But, I let the pictures of perfect women on Social Media affect this. I let TV, Movies, and general media affect this perception. I’ve fallen so far into the ‘skinny is beautiful’ movement, that I can’t see the way out.

Yet, I know the difference. I know how I am supposed to love my body. And to an extent I do. It takes little glimpses or really, pictures from others to see myself as others may see me. Since I’m so deluded by my lack of self love.

I don’t say this to put myself down at all. But rather to know that my self love is a continual process. Some have it mastered, some ignore it all together. I’m in the middle, just a gal trying to love every curve, every roll, every dimple AND appreciate the body I was given.

I want to show you a picture of the body I would love to attain again:

J says I look like I need to eat. I think I look great. I know I was fit, but I also know I was obsessed with working out and eating very limited amounts of food. But I cannot sit here and tell you that I don’t crave that body. I do. I think it looks great. But I also know my life now is different and I don’t want to dedicate that much time to my body. I like spending my time with J and L, that makes me happy.

Working out makes me happy too. I need balance, but I need to workout. I need to go to Midtown regularly, because it keeps me strong and I’ve cultivated a little family there. The crazies at 5:30AM! I also need to never let my first love, soccer, and I fall out of love. Playing once or twice a week is exactly what this body and soul needs, if I get to play more that’s just a bonus. I need to run. Well, I do it on occasion these days, but for the last few years it was a large part of my life. Slowly it has taken a back seat, but it is still an important facet of my life, just not as much anymore.

This body can do all of this.
And for that I am grateful. I am able to look at current pictures of myself and remind myself that I am a strong woman, on the field, in a race, or in the gym. I’m in my early, almost mid thirties, and my body is holding up. I run. I lift. I play soccer. I love my body, even if I still have a distorted view of it.

I know what it takes to get what I want, but that isn’t really a priority any more. So, I sit here loving that I can physically do whatever I want, but still crave a body that isn’t what I have. So, just as I train my muscles and my body, I need to train my mind to remember that, “This body can do a lot and deserves to be loved in whatever shape it currently is!”

This body does what I want it to, it just looks a little different than I want it to…


2 thoughts on “This Body Can – Stephanie

  1. First off – what I think *everyone* should see in that picture that they want is that SMILE!

    I think it is so easy and almost natural to look at what we think we are lacking rather than appreciate what we have,

    I am 50 years old, a guy, in the best shape of my life … and I don’t like my body.

    I know it is stupid – my normal morning run is 10.5 miles, I am constantly ‘half marathon ready’ for the last ~4.5 years and have run a number of marathons and half marathons and so on. I have been a runner now for more than 27 years, since just after graduating college. I have never had a running injury, and none of my joints have any issues.

    But here’s the thing – when I *did* start running in Feb 1989, I weighed almost 400lbs. Today I am right around 180. I weighed ~200lbs for the better part of 20 years – until my thyroid died in 2007/8 and I slowly gained weight and lost energy / motivation and ended up at the start of 2012 close to 300lbs. Ugh.

    As you might have ready, losing that kind of weight leaves stuff behind – skin. So now regardless of my fitness level, there will always be a certain ‘squishiness’ about my middle, my thighs, my upper arms. Not a lot, but enough that it bothers me.

    So I struggle to really focus on what my body CAN DO … but I get better all the time.

    • Congrats on your journey! It really can be a struggle to focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t. Which is why I started this series. Let’s not forget how lucky we are and appreciate our bodies for what they do. Of course we can always continue to be better, but love the journey as well!

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